Marion Witte

February 17, 2014

Wellness – Part 1 – What Did you Say Was Wrong?

Filed under: Wellness — Marion Witte @ 12:10 am

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Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary. 

Oops – I think that beginning has already been taken.

In November, I was diagnosed with cancer in my left breast.  Yes – me folks.

It takes a while for an announcement like that to sink in, especially when you’ve been told by everyone performing the multiple mammograms and the needle biopsies that there is nothing to worry about.  Then you get “that call” from your doctor, the unfortunate person who has to deliver the blow, with the accompanying apology of “I’m sorry, but it turned out to be cancer.”

The first few days after receiving this news are filled with an assortment of emotions and thoughts – including denial, fear and anger. Throughout angst-filled days and sleepless nights, one tries to absorb all of this, as you wait for the first (of many) doctor’s appointments to come.  Your mind runs wild with possibilities, none of them very favorable.  You think about what you did to cause this.  Was it the food I ate?  Living an unhealthy lifestyle?  Some random gene run amuck? A pathetic cry for attention? Or maybe karma? Yeah, that must be it, Marion. Payback for something I did wrong in a prior lifetime.

You sort through all these possibilities, and in the end, decide that the “why” really doesn’t matter at this stage of the game. You are facing a significant challenge, and it’s time to take charge, get informed and make some rational decisions.

It is a natural progression to take the step that the medical profession hates – you get on the internet.  And after reading what’s online, if you weren’t scared before, you’re convinced it’s time to get your medical power of attorney in place. The web is a wonderful place to obtain information, as long as you temper your search by challenging what you are reading for its authenticity.  I chose to believe, or not believe, the information presented based on the idea that “if it makes sense to me, then it’s right for me.”

I came to learn throughout this process, which I am writing about in this blog series, that we have given away too much power to the disease – and the word – cancer.  Many people speak about it in terms of “how long do I have to live.” Diagnoses of heart disease, diabetes and other debilitating diseases are rendered every day, yet none bear the stigma or fear that cancer does.  I would like to be a part of changing that perception.

And somewhere in the midst of all of this, I asked that question we all ask – why me?  I would talk to God at night (or whoever it is up there listening).  I asked him why it was me that had to go through this, when I had already been through so much in my lifetime. When I was done feeling sorry for myself, I quieted my mind, and I waited.  Then from someplace, either inside or outside of my head, I heard these words.

And why not you, Marion?

I was in no frame of mind for one of these esoteric, spiritual communications from somebody I couldn’t see, and whose existence I now questioned.  Ironically, that message was delivered to me the day after the surgeon I met with said he needed to go in and cut out the tumor in my left breast. Based on what I heard from the Master of the Universe and my surgeon, I had a lot to think about.

So I did what was right for me at the time. I put God’s message on hold (at least for the time being) and I ignored the doctor. Instead of going in for surgery, I decided to go on my dream vacation – Australia and New Zealand.  Yes, I needed to go to the Middle Earth where the Hobbits lived.  Those little guys always died of old age – not cancer.  I wanted to find out what their secret was!

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6 Comments »

  1. Marion,

    I am so sorry you were given that diagnosis. I too am shocked by this! If anyone can meet this challenge head-on, it’s you, girl! You are in my thoughts and prayers, and know I am here for you at any time. Please do check out all the alternatives…

    Hugs and much love,
    Patti

    Comment by Patti Carey, L.Ac. — February 17, 2014 @ 3:32 pm

  2. Marion I am so proud to know you ! Like you, and I’m sure all your friends and family, I was shocked to read your ‘news’ and continue to be inspired by your attitude and optimism. I know we will be buoyed by your leadership and educated along with your searches.
    Much love from both of us, especially Ro.

    Comment by Rosemary Allen — February 17, 2014 @ 4:49 pm

  3. Marion – I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been delivered this dreaded news . The C word is scary to us all but in true Marion spirit you’re taking charge and you will kick cancers butt your own way. You’re a survivor, girl. You’ve survived much in your life already and this will be no different. I am sending you love, and positive energy and will be sending up some prayers for you. Wishing you strength, love and a little luck as you continue on your path. White light all around you. Your friend, Melissa Layton

    Comment by Melissa Layton — February 17, 2014 @ 7:28 pm

  4. Life is full of surprises and sometimes those surprises aren’t so pleasant. Always thinking of you, praying for your health & sending positive thoughts your way. Thank you for sharing your story and your journey through this process. Much Love & Big Hugs! Mike and Wanda

    Comment by Wanda — February 17, 2014 @ 7:54 pm

  5. I so admire your spirit and determination. Hopefully your friendship with Kaila will help give you hope and perspective.

    I am currently stuck on a case as a jurist. Can we get a lunch date for next week sometime?

    All best wishes!
    Mike

    Comment by Mike Merewether — February 17, 2014 @ 9:30 pm

  6. What a way to treat cancer–with a dream vacation! I love it. I can’t wait to read more.

    Comment by Grace Peterson — February 25, 2014 @ 10:39 am

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