I am an author and a child advocate, not a political satirist. Recently though, I have been following some of our political candidates, in order to gain a better understand regarding their positions on child rights and protection issues. I must say, I am shocked at some of the comments and ideas being tossed around.
I personally don’t associate myself with any one political party, nor do I label myself a Democrat, Republican or Independent. On the other hand, I do think about what a government would look like that would best serve the interests of our children. My ideas are relatively moderate and, I think, quite rational:
- Politicians need to be smarter than me.
- This country was built on the basis of religious tolerance; it does not belong to any one faith.
- The wealth of this country is best put to use by educating our children, as opposed to buying weapons to destroy populations in other parts of the world.
- Government is not empowered to decide who can love whom; any personal union shall be respected without regard to ethnicity, religious beliefs or sexual preference.
- Any capable person who chooses to serve in our armed forces should be allowed to do so.
- Each woman shall, based soley on the guidance of her heart and soul, have the right to determine when or if she is ready to give birth to a child.
- Our country needs to adopt and implement a rational, compassionate approach to the issue of immigration rules and regulations.
- This country shall not spend more money than it collects in revenue.
In the spirit of assessing the rationality of the current political candidates, I offer a sampling of some of their recent comments. I DID NOT MAKE UP THESE PUBLICLY ISSUED STATEMENTS. Here goes:
Masturbating is Breaking the Commandment of “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery” – This idea presents quite a quandary for many folks. If this novel interpretation is true, I would imagine most of our male politicians are on a path straight to hell. But, since we are all entitled to our personal religious beliefs, I will accept it to be true for those who choose to believe so. In any event, this rule would appear to affect only Christians, as my Catholic and Jewish friends tell me they are already damned due to the guilt involved.
Practice of Satanism – Surprisingly, I gotta’ give a thumbs up on this one, again because of my belief in the right of religious freedom. Also, it may help this United States Senatorial candidate gather support from some of the voter-age Twilight fans. In addition, if she wins, the blood-letting rituals might actually come in handy on the Senate floor.
Predilection for Bestiality – As a farm girl from North Dakota, you might think I would side with the animals. No, this is also a freedom of expression issue, and it’s OK as long as both parties are consenting adults. No relations with any small lambs, calves or ponies. And any sheep, cattle or horses must be of age, and at least appear to be enjoying it.
Elimination of Social Security, Medicare, the Department of Education and Public Health Coverage – Definite Thumbs Down. This goes to my first requirement – I want a candidate who is educated, smart and articulate, and someone who has formulated reasonable and practical options. I am not interested in listening to or voting for a person whose entire candidacy is based on repeating sound bites from the 24 hour cable TV networks.
Denial of The Theory of Evolution – Sorry, another Thumbs Down. I have long wondered where the wives of Cain and Able came from? Based on the creationist theory that God created only one man and one woman (who then beget children) it bothers me that these wives might have been the sisters of Cain and Able. For my own piece of mind, I am going to have to stick with the theory that they “evolved” in another region of the world.
Book Banning – Can’t really agree with this one, either. Books are chosen based on individual tastes, and therefore I believe everyone should have the opportunity to read what they want to read. Who would want to deny a Senator, sitting in a public toilet in the airport in Minneapolis, trolling for sex, to not be able to pass the time with a book about a witch who is convinced that mice are being implanted with human brains, and who then went on to be a member of Congress. We need to keep this type of content around, as it’s really hard to find good material like that.
And what do these “tongue in cheek” comments have to do with child rights and advocacy. Everything. The candidates that are elected this year will undoubtedly serve for many years. The laws they pass, change or repeal will affect the children in our country now, their children and their grandchildren.
We need to make sure that we are giving future generations the best tools we can, in the form of rational and logical regulations and laws, so they are not ham-strung by the utterly foolish ideas that may be introduced by less-than-qualified candidates.
This is the time for each of us to get informed about who is running for office in our state and our districts, make rational choices, and then vote with our heads and not our emotions.
Marion Witte
Copyright 2010
Minnie Mouse
